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Seek the Sun

by Clare Siobhan

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chario3r Clare Siobhan's voice sounds like someone I know, though I can't place whose. It's a very comforting and familiar feeling. This entire album feels like comfort.
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1.
Mercy 04:30
We’re drawn to each other like the moon, it draws the tides to land We push and we pull, we wax and we wane We fit together like hand in crooked hand As we hum and we whisper our mispronounced names And I want to write like the smoke off your cigarettes I want to sing like the ice on the sidewalk I want to show you the parts of me you’ve not seen yet I’m gonna run, I’m gonna scream, I’ll never talk I unfold my leaves as I turn to the sun With a pencil, she tidies her hair Late Tuesday morning, the rain has begun Something’s burning and I don’t know where The kettle is boiling, the baby awakes And like paper cuts fingers, it cuts through the noise Out on the sidewalk, a little dog shakes Stack of books on my head, I hold myself with poise Give me freedom from myself Give me freedom from my worry Give me freedom from my projections, misdirections Give me freedom, give me mercy A man on a bench rusts outside the grocery store Because he’s copper and it’s winter and he’s lost the hat he wore I sit beside him and sing til I cry But there’s no money in my case and too much fire in the sky Give me mercy Oh, give me mercy Oh, give me mercy Give me mercy Oh, give me mercy Oh, give me mercy Oh, give me mercy Give me mercy
2.
I built a house with an arsonist Who I shouldn't have given the key When it all burnt down, I knew it was partly on me Oh, I built a house with an arsonist And I let him pick out the rugs They went up so fast, somehow I was aghast When I met him, he seemed nice enough Oh, I’m gonna live at the bottom of the ocean I’m gonna walk to the depths of the sea Sick of surprises, the water, it rises Do I have it coming to me? Oh, I’m gonna live at the bottom of the ocean I’m gonna walk to the depths of the sea Sick of surprises, the water, it rises Do I have it coming to me? And I planted a garden with a family of deer And I should’ve put up a fence Couldn’t resist the temptation of freshly bloomed tulips I should've known; it's common sense And I planted a garden with a family of deer And I thought they might be what they’re not But things, they don’t change just for my wishful thinking I try to remember - I guess I forgot Oh, I’m gonna live at the bottom of the ocean (at the bottom of the ocean) I’m gonna walk to the depths of the sea (to the depths of the sea) Sick of surprises, the water, it rises Do I have it coming to me? Coming to me - oh, I’m gonna live at the bottom of the ocean I’m gonna walk to the depths of the sea Sick of surprises, the water, it rises Do I have it coming to me? Coming to me, to me Coming to me Do I have it coming to me? And the man, he burns houses for a living And the deer, the deer will be forgiven But so will the guy who just burned my house down Even though he had said he’d stick around And the man, he burns houses for a living And the deer, the deer will be forgiven But so will the guy who set fire to my life And I watched it all come down But I’ll do it again I know I’ll do it again They say fools never learn, but quitters never win If at first you don’t succeed, don’t look back: go all in I’ll do it again
3.
Amelia 03:38
You were a grad, I was a freshman Doing whatever I could to get your attention First you were my mentor, then we were best friends Two years’ difference didn’t seem like much I looked up to you, I knew I couldn’t touch Your kindness, your talent, your ambition But this is your life now You live where you were born Wear the hat your father’s always worn In this old town With dead-end jobs and endless Mondays Hazy gods and lazy Sundays I never thought I’d lose you this way one day I thought I’d lose you underground Hesitant to make a sound Dragged down, just for sticking around I thought I’d find you in the snow Buried six feet deep below Old boyfriends, girlfriends, cafes closed so long ago Amelia Amelia Amelia, don’t come home You took one, then two, then three years off And I knew time and I, we’d never be enough To reroute your misdirections Pause your ceaseless introspections But this is your life now You live where you were born Never take the acting world by storm Working retail at home With dead-end jobs and endless Mondays Hazy gods and lazy Sundays I never thought I’d lose you this way one day I thought I’d lose you underground Hesitant to make a sound Dragged down, just for sticking around I thought I’d find you in the snow Buried six feet deep below Old boyfriends, girlfriends, cafes closed so long ago And if your cold lungs do fill with water Seek the sun, you’ll find her daughters In brighter places than you’ve ever known Amelia, don’t come home Amelia, don’t come home Don’t come home, don't come home Amelia - Amelia, don’t come home Amelia Amelia, don't come home
4.
We’re not a perfect match, We’re a perfect misfit We’re the same in all different ways, And I’m getting used to it Spin me around, tip me over Make me dizzy with your gaze You are my four-leaf clover Let me count the ways He loves me, loves me not He loves me, my judgment’s shot We are green, he is yellow and I’m blue We are weaving, dancing in three I am counting to two We are weaving, dancing in three I am counting to two Balance, like all things, is tricky What to give and what to keep This weight that I carry, it sometimes gets heavy And now someone’s offering to share it with me Keeping me whole as I’m breaking It’s so easy, it’s so good Keep thinking I must be mistaken But this is constant, this is constant He loves me, loves me not He loves me, my judgment’s shot We are green, he is yellow and I’m blue We are weaving, dancing in three I am counting to two We are weaving, dancing in three I am counting to two I am counting to two I am counting to two I am counting to two I am counting to two One, two, one, two One, two, one, two One, two, one, two One two three, one two three, One two three, one two three, …
5.
Flare 04:29
Static almost louder than the music Static getting louder every time the wipers wave Crying in the car as I drive home Cause wouldn't you know I'm no good with change Passing tall men in tiny cars, We're headed towards the bridge that takes us home Little lights on little boats, And here I am, behind the wheel, alone Catastrophe takes ahold of me Simplicity is lost Easy's never easy for me Relief's not worth the cost As the needle breaks the skin, I wince and take my medicine That's one week down and eighty years to go If I live to be a hundred, won't I just be one big scar? Promise you'll call the papers, tell them I grew old Passing other brave women driving transport trucks It's just girls on the road tonight This tired life that we're living, they're just trying to make a buck I'm just trying to make it home all right Catastrophe takes ahold of me Simplicity is lost Easy's never easy for me Relief's not worth the cost I keep trying to tell myself that this is something I need But I know that without it, I can still get around The tree in my backyard's so heavy with its new summer leaves So don't you ever try to tell me change won't weigh me down Catastrophe takes ahold of me Simplicity is lost Easy's never easy for me Relief's not worth the cost Change won’t weigh me down Change won’t weigh me down Change won’t weigh me down Change won’t weigh me down Change won’t weigh me down Change won’t weigh me down And the heaviest bough It's full of birds now It's full of birds now It's full of birds now Full of birds now
6.
See Me Now 03:54
Grant me now the dignity Grant me now the dignity You can listen if you want Sit and listen, look away Maybe you will hear me clearly If you cannot see my face And I’ll tell you not to worry But I got dressed up today (And I know you’ll worry anyway) Separate the art from the artist, Separate the woman from her words Separate the method from the message, Separate the seen and the heard Celebrate the content of my character And never let me speak Honour me - posthumously - Then say I’m finally free Well, I am carved from earth and stone And blood and water And I am someone’s favourite person, Someone’s daughter And I know you’re just the cashier, someone’s kid But I saw the way you looked at me, I did And now it’s my superego against your id Separate the art from the artist, Separate the woman from her words Separate the method from the message, Separate the seen and the heard Celebrate the content of my character And never let me speak Honour me - posthumously - Then say I’m finally free Like it was ever up to me (It was never up to me) It was never up to me (It was never up to me) It was never up to me (It was never up to me) It was never up to me Grant me now The dignity I’ll get when I die Grant me now The dignity I’ll get when I die See me now, See me now, See me now, See me now, (see me) See me now, (see me) See me now, (see me) See me now, (see me) See me now, (see me) See me now, (see me) See me now, (see me) See me now, (see me) See me now, (see me) See me now, See me now, See me now, See me now, Oh, won’t you see me now?

credits

released October 6, 2023

Music and Lyrics by Clare Maguire
Lead Vocals, Background Vocals, Piano, and Ukulele by Clare Maguire
Drums by Jordi Comstock
Bass by Cassie Mann
Acoustic Guitar by Nick Maclean
Electric Guitar and Lap Steel by Christine Bougie
Trombone by Andrew Jackson
Organ by Erin Costelo

Produced and Mixed by Erin Costelo
Recorded by Thomas Stajcer and Alex Burris at Fang Recording in Dartmouth, NS
Mastered by Kristian Montano at Montano Mastering

Album Art by Jessie Lamworth

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Clare Siobhan Montreal, Québec

say "shuh-VON" !
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singer-songwriter from truro, ns, in montreal now
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trying to keep things cozy, warm, and connected
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nurturing a fierce love for the maritimes, and alllll the people around me
... more

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